Your brand of kink might be sex with multiple partners at once it might be having your partner secretly use a remote control vibrator on you while out with friends it might include using sex toys with your partner in the bedroom. " if kink is defined as anything that exists outside of the norm, I challenge you to think about whose norm you’re conforming to," she says. At its most basic level, kink refers to unconventional sexual preferences or behaviors, says sex therapist Veronica N. Now, the term "kink" gets thrown around a lot, thus carrying a lot of ambiguity. "Inherently, it gives you the opportunity to talk about things on a deeper level, discuss different boundaries, debrief and evaluate together in a way that couples sometime forget to do when they have the same routine sex life." "Introducing kinkier elements into your sex life together can create a sense of adventure and deepen sense of trust," Balestrieri says. Plus, if you’re in a serious relationship, talking about your kinks and preferences can help you feel more connected to your partner, says Kate Balestrieri, licensed psychologist, certified therapist and founder of Modern Intimacy.
In fact, there are basic, accessible ways to make sex feel more erotic without going into full BDSM mode (unless you want to).
Taking relationships-whether long term, a casual fling, or a FWB-to the next level and getting a little kinky doesn’t have to be as intimidating as it sounds. Sometimes, using your hands during sex can be a great way to stimulate your partner's G-spot or P-spot without using a penis or strap-on.If you've only rotated between two or three sex positions in the past month, it's probably time to spice things up (for your own pleasure's sake). Your partner can lower themselves onto you and ride while you lay on your back.Ĭowboy lets you make eye contact with your partner during sex, while the rider faces away in a reverse cowboy.
Rider positions can let you top while giving your partner more control. Normally, both people lay on their sides during sex, like non-sexual spooning. Like doggie style, your partner faces away from you as you penetrate them from behind. Spooning can be an intimate position that lets you and your partner cuddle as you penetrate them. Like the position name implies, your partner kneels on all fours while you penetrate them from behind.įor added sensation, you can also reach around and give them a hand job at the same time. Doggie styleĭoggie style can be a great way to top your partner. This can make it easier to communicate during sex about what feels good. Your partner lays on their back facing you while you thrust on top of them, allowing for deep penetration. Missionary allows you to make make eye contact, kiss your partner, and maybe get in a bite or two while you top them. Here are some sex positions for gay tops that can help take the guess work out of the night. For queer people, figuring out whether you like to top, bottom, or switch (also known as "verses") can be the first step to having a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life.īut sometimes, if you're a top - or person who likes to have a more active role during sex - you may feel pressure to find creative ways to mix up your sex life.